Five months ago I had a dream about a place I’d found to be a permanent home. It was a good dream, a dream that showed everything falling into place. A dream that brought me calm.
At the time, I figured it was just my subconscious reminding me of how things used to be before I did what many, as far as I’v seen, are too scared to do. Have the courage to follow their hearts. Leave all I knew behind, use everything I had, and move for true love.
I’ve said I don’t regret it, and that will always be true.
I’d like to happily say that I’ve FINALLY found a permanent place to live. And it’s the same place I left six months ago.
Crazy huh? Or rather…interesting. I’ve always been one to look deep into my dreams, and strive to understand what they were telling me. So why then was the dream about moving back here, the place I’ve called home for seven years, so easily dismissed?
I think it had to do with pride…no, let me be honest-it had to do with pride. And at the same time, guilt, feeling as though I’d somehow be letting myself down by coming back. I also didn’t think I’d be able to. Figured all the rooms would be rented.
More so however, I think I felt like if I’d moved back to where I left…it would mean the love I expressed for the two of them was false. Like, I’d be trying to erase them and all I got to be a part of from ever happening.
I made the deposit today and should move in by the middle of next month. Funny thing is, when I first moved in in 2010 it was in October…Life, am I right? 😉 🙂
So now, I can finally relax and rest knowing my efforts have paid off and my faith in myself and the universe has been acknowledged. This is a reward I’ve earned, and I appreciate it. I always, ALWAYS, have been the kind of person who prefers to earn things through hard work and dedication. So this, this moment of peace, feels really good.
Now I’ll be able to write more, work more on my many started projects, get into running again, riding my bike, more meditation and focusing harder on my Jeet Kun Do training.
Side note: for my training I’m not going to a studio. I’ve read the books Bruce Lee wrote himself and train myself through them. First was the philosophies of life and it’s many aspects, then came reading about proper technique and how to adapt to better fit who you are (finding the true self through martial arts) and now I’m on to proper training (stretching, points of attack and balance within the self and the form of the formless).
Mind, body and spirit should always be balanced as best as possible. For any amount of time I do something “mindless,” I’ll spend double that time reading or writing or meditating. For any amount of time I sit or have “lazy time,” I work twice as hard at the gym and with my physical conditioning. And for any amount of harsh or negative that I experience, I spend double that time and effort making sure I understand it from all sides in order to better understand myself and learn how it’s somehow made me better internally.
I can once again fully focus on becoming the best possible version of myself, which in turn will lead to new long lasting ways for me to share love, light and kindness through the world. With those I hold dear and ,you my followers, and anyone else who happens to come along my path.
“The bird who lands on a branch doesn’t trust that the branch won’t break, she trusts in her wings to make her fly when it does.”-Unknown
Nothing is solid, nothing is set in stone. Even things carved in stone eventually erode and the stone itself becomes part of a new foundation for something else to grow and prosper. Life, is uncertain. Instead of being angry or hurt that it seems un-trust worthy, be thankful that it gives you numerous opportunities to grow. Life isn’t meant to give you everything you want it’s meant to give you exactly what you need.
“The EGO says, ‘When everything falls into place, I’ll be at peace.’ The SPIRIT says, ‘When I’m at peace, everything will fall into place.'”-Unknown.