OK, so I finally finished! I think you have an interesting and fun group of characters, and like I said before, the zombie action description is good. The pace is good; doesn’t seem to lag anywhere. What I have a hard time with is the style; are you going for more of a screenplay/play format with primarily dialogue? Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of who is saying what with the limited attribution. And since it’s so dialogue heavy I don’t get a good sense of place; the environment isn’t defined enough for me. I think you’re not afraid to get experimental and mess around with things like the style and flashbacks and all of that, and I don’t see a lot of that in my reading, so it kinda throws me. I also know you’re still working and I don’t want to get all editorish on you! : ) So go forth and keep doing what you’re doing! I’m sure you’ll get it all to where you want it!